A guide for parents

36 rewards for kids that don’t cost money

The rewards children remember usually aren’t things: they’re time with you, getting to choose, and a bit of fun out of the ordinary. Here are 36 free ideas to put in your family’s rewards list.

Time together

  • A board game with a parent
  • An extra bedtime story
  • Baking something together
  • A one-to-one trip out with Mam or Dad
  • A kick-around or pucking the ball in the back garden
  • Teaching them something you love to do
  • A bike ride together

Their choice

  • Pick what’s for dinner
  • Choose the family film
  • Pick the music in the car
  • Choose Saturday’s activity
  • Sit in the front seat (when they’re old enough)
  • Choose which game the family plays
  • Pick the bedtime story

Special privileges

  • Stay up 15 minutes later
  • A lie-in at the weekend
  • Have a friend over
  • Breakfast in bed
  • A sleepover in the sitting room
  • A “yes day” for small things
  • Skip one chore this week

Free days out

  • A trip to the beach, whatever the weather
  • A forest walk
  • The playground of their choice
  • A visit to the library
  • A visit to Granny and Grandad
  • Feeding the ducks
  • A free museum or gallery
  • Watching a local GAA match

Fun at home

  • Build a den in the sitting room
  • A picnic on the living-room floor
  • A family disco
  • A treasure hunt
  • A camp-out in the back garden
  • A home cinema night (popcorn optional)
  • A pyjama day

Making free rewards work

  1. Time with you is the top reward. For most children, half an hour of your full attention is worth more than any toy.
  2. Let them choose from a menu. Agree a list of rewards together, so they’re working towards something they actually want.
  3. Put a price on each one. Give each reward a number of stars, with something small always within reach and something bigger to save for.
  4. Keep promises. If they’ve earned the trip to the beach, go, even if it’s raining. Reliability is what makes rewards work.
  5. Mix in a few small treats. Free rewards don’t have to replace the occasional treat, just most of them.

Your own rewards shop

In Bopstars, the free star chart made in Ireland, you fill a rewards shop with your family’s own rewards and set what each costs in stars. Children see how many stars they have, ask for a reward when they have enough, and you say yes. They can even suggest new rewards for you to price and add.

Questions parents ask

What are good rewards for kids that don’t cost money?

Time together (a board game, baking, a one-to-one trip out), choices (picking the dinner or the film), privileges (staying up later, a friend over), free days out (the beach, a forest walk, the library) and fun at home (a den, a family disco, a camp-out in the garden).

Are experiences better rewards than toys?

Often, yes. Experiences and time with a parent tend to mean more to children than things, and they don’t pile up in the toy box. A mix of both is fine.

How many stars should a reward cost?

Price small rewards so they can be reached in two or three days, and bigger ones over a couple of weeks, so there’s always something within reach and something worth saving for.